What with rock stars
selling car insurance
there's another selling butter
what a strange occurrence
how we didn't know how to sing
we could barley even play those things
but we did the best we could
call me on your black flag berry
if i cant reach you and your not home
can i get you on your apple seed cast iphone
remember when bands would look you in the eye when they sang
there was beer
and blood
and spirit and passion
i nearly poked my pissing eye out with a microphone stand
but im doing the best i can
cos we felt 20 foot tall
yes we felt 30 foot tall
yes we felt 50 foot tall
yes we felt 100 foot tall
can i borrow your lead
ive lost my plectrum
the guy in the front with the pierced septum
looks like he eats pieces of shit like me for breakfast
the sound engineer hates us all
and we haven't got any breakables
but when we got up there we felt
is heaven really a half pipe?
was that crap band right?
aerosols and camp fires
we were teenage arse holes
we were teenage liars
with diamonds in her eyes
and cockiness in our stride
Tom tried
then Tom tried smack
he's still trying that in fact
with gat guns and black widows
shop lifting popping bubble gum
and breaking windows
Got, got, need, swap, swap, swap, swap
im still tapping on cans of pop to stop them fizzing
urethane squeaks questions
concretes listening
its alright, it'll be alright
we were just kids i didn't know how to help you
lets blame neurons and transmuters
we were thinking of nub ends
not nebulisers
drinking since they took off our stablisers
this town was a city, there was future there
hanging out with messrs Lambert and Butler
the number 7 dreams of power steering
the bus and our careers are careering
and yes i find this condition debilatating
and i plan to procrastinate about procrastonating
somewhere, were a half arsed smoke machine goes off
on an empty dance floor
in the only rock bar
doorman re-enact headlocks
and polish plastic cars
chinny rekon, itchy chin, chin wag, itchy chin
I should buy some new shoes
Shoes don’t get me drunk
And I can’t skate in
Empty bitter jars
I’m sure they’ll give me
Blisters
And your novelty t-shirt reads
Why drink and drive
When you can smoke and fly home
Life’s a beach then you die
Do or do not there is no
Try
And I would furnish you with a snotling pump wagon
with your +3 on a d6 when breaking peoples..
Nurgle would have wanted this
Coming at you with a chaotic kiss
Were did you go?
Were have you been?
I heard you copt of with a good looking space marine
Well these walls are super model thin
And my wallet
Is the same
Yes you getting married practically grates
And I still don’t find anything
That Interesting
About interest rates
The next day You’re searching for serotonin
I want some really strong ibuprofen
You’ll cain it for days without a care
Whilst ill feel like that kid off the mask with
Cher
And I can’t
do it like I used to
Im nearly 32 and like you;
I should have a blummingfoot spa
A bluming six pack
A bluming clue
And a great big ruddy bloody car…
But I don’t
The neighbors are shagging again
And it’s ever so ever so loud
And the fat ones t shirt reads
It reads:
Return to the pub if found
Take me to your dealer please
I’m not really balding
It’s just a solar panel for a sex machine
These stranded soulless souls
Forever do they drift
Upon reefs of real ale and public house shoals
3 crates of bar stool politics
7 sacks of times of old
10 barrels of bitter and loneliness
And 1 heavy heart, stored in the hold
On this one, barnacles on the starboard side
That ones leaking rum
She’s been moored, and waits the lord
‘Cos once you scuttled your done
I feel like
A million
Zimbabwean
Dollars
Let me make two things clear
We should have been nicer to each other
And it smells like games workshop in here
about
1. Hagger for mayor
2. I feel like a million Zimbabwean dollars
3. The good charlatans
4. Nub ends, not nebulisers
5. Now you've got the midlands maddest man
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